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Grow Up, Dude

by You Blew It

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1.
2.
I was home, incomplete though. I wouldn't let you help so I never saw in you what you saw in me all along. I left here driving straight from Baptist. I stopped when I found friends again. We wanted out of this town. We made our way through state lines and ended up alone on the road, so complete though, searching for something we thought we'd never find. I found home.
3.
I'm not drinking tonight; but I still feel queasy. I'm sure as hell deserving, after everything I did to you. So what the hell am I still doing in your room? "It's not me, it's you." Have we changed? Considering things, I still feel the same. Stumbling at this rate, I'll never change. I swear that I tried, but this time was a goodbye. I've been avoiding places that I know you've been and spending time with good friends. I still remember last December, so what the Hell am I still doing in your room? "It's not me, it's you." If I'm thinking about you, it's not because I want to. If I'm talking to you, I don't want to.
4.
I'm usually not one to pick fights, but you've really crossed the line this time. If there's one thing this place doesn't need, it's your friends and their extreme lack of sympathy. A sorry drunken soliloquy; do us a favor and stumble out the front door disgracefully. If you're trying to make an exit, then I'm sure you've figured out you're a problem that this place could live without. I'm not sure what you had hoped for, but if you're just trying to fit in, quit it. Trust me, you're not as old as you'd like to think. I'm usually not one to pick fights, but you've really gone and done it this time. It's not what you do, it's who you are. You've really gone and crossed the line this time.
5.
Are you kidding me? Because you've got to be joking on a night like tonight especially. I sense distaste, but I was never great at reading your face. I'm not a fucking trophy, but to you I might as well have been. We're outside of an awkward Christmas party, two separate shades of parting. Say you're kidding me, except I don't think you're joking, and neither of us are laughing. How did I end up bedside wondering what you meant by "the end?" Now you've seen that I'm not exactly the person you wanted me to be, so put it on my shoulders.
6.
It's about time that I start pulling myself together, because my poor excuses for progress are simply postponing the process of gaining confidence in what I'm saying and feeling better about who I'm singing about these days. It's about time that I stopped gracelessly falling to pieces because my refusal to take any right steps is simply weighing down my friendships and finding me questioning every decision. At least you're making an impression. What if I tried pretending that the two of us were completely and utterly blameless? I've written an ending involving a shaved face and some better posture...I'm hoping. These days I'm a mess of mistakes and awkwardness.
7.
8.
The Fifties 02:19
I’ve stowed away everything in boxes and old spaces trying to keep my senses. The only place I want to be is listening to Elvis in your front seat, faking a life in the fifties. It's not that I lied, it's just hard to say that I tried. I just think that it's about time that I stopped falling for every beautiful set of brown eyes just like your brown eyes.
9.
If you had anywhere else to be besides stealing beer at parties, frankly I'd be surprised. But I won't assume, because I already know it's true. Everything that you claim you're into, you're nothing to get attached to. We're trying to find redeeming traits, but nothing ever seems to come to mind. We've circled our brains enough times to know your best excuse is lack of personality. Sink or swim, you're drowning in what's left of your confidence. We're watching you try way too hard. Everything that you claim you're into, you're nothing to get attached to. I wish I was brave enough to say this all to your face, but you'll hear it anyways from everyone around you. I'm getting out of this town small enough for two.
10.
You've made it known that you're using the area code to make excuses why you're useless. Quit whining about it, I think you're making it a habit turned muscle memory. You're so good at faking a feeling, but I think that I'll be alright. We made a night out of highway signs. I think I'll say it. I'm going to say that this time I think I'm actually fine. There I said it, and I think I meant it. I'm not tired yet, so I'm fighting judgment for the sake of better friends and their attempts at romance. Their accounts of happenstance won't get them anywhere tonight, but I think that they'll be alright. I’m right where I need to be, spending sleepless nights at Steven’s and we’re drinking too much coffee. I’m right where I need to be, spending Friday nights with my friends and drinking too much whiskey again.
11.
I can say confidently that no one in this room could claim any sort of personality. This isn't anything worth getting into. If anything you did made any sense, then we wouldn't be staring at you like a goddamned exhibit. I'll ask myself "is it really worth it?"
12.
Too much, too soon. I'm doing my best to ignore you. I'm gritting grinded teeth and hoping that you'll pull through. That's all I've got to give. I think I'm justified to say maybe this won't be worth it. That's all I've got to give. I'm hoping that by Rockford this will be worth it. When will we see that superstitions won't do anything? When will I see that superstitions won't do anything?

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released April 24, 2012

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